Monday, February 12, 2007

Best Actual Headlines of 2006

Hi all:

In the spirit of last week's "Church Bulletin Boo Boos" blog, I present these headlines that apparently appeared in some newspaper somewhere in 2006 (these have been making the e-mail rounds, so I'm not sure of their original source - but they sure are funny, especially the asides beneath):

  1. Crack Found on Governor's Daughter
    Imagine that!

  2. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
    No, really?

  3. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
    Now that's taking things a bit far!

  4. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
    What a guy!

  5. Miners Refuse to Work after Death
    No-good-for-nothing' lazy so-and-sos!

  6. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
    See if that works any better than a fair trial!

  7. War Dims Hope for Peace
    I can see where it might have that effect!

  8. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
    You think?!

  9. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
    Who would have thought!

  10. Enfield Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
    They may be on to something!

  11. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
    You mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!

  12. Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
    He probably IS the battery charge!

  13. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
    Weren't they fat enough?!

  14. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
    That's what he gets for eating those beans!

  15. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
    Taste like chicken?

  16. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
    Chainsaw Massacre all over again!

  17. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
    Boy, are they tall!

  18. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
    Did I read that right?

My favorites are 3, 4, 6, and 17. What are yours?

As a writer/editor, I'm constantly trying to make sure boo boos like this don't make it into my work. It's pretty hard sometimes!




C.J. Darlington said...

Ha ha. They're all funny!

hrh said...

Glad you liked 'em! The precise placement of words is so important for the meaning of the sentence, ain't it?? :)